In this episode, I, The Wednesday Gourmet, creator-in-chief of Gourmet Wednesday (scroll down for what the heck all that means) shall attempt to cook the delectably sounding Lacot, which is what I call the dish that is made from Linguine, Anchovies, Capers, Olives and Tomato, but it sounds a bit more exotic than simply naming the ingredients. There’s garlic and parsley involved too but they’re quite basic ingredients and there was no room for them in the name; no-one is going to want to eat Catplog.

To begin: mix a zero or a plus alcohol drink. Take a sip. Good? Good. Take a small pot and place on a low heat. Into this pot, put 2 cloves of chopped garlic and 5 chopped anchovies. Keep the heat low on them til they mix nicely, like the drink.

Then add your chopped black olives – kalamata are best as they are nice and salty but its not a total kalamata if you can’t get them; any black olives will do but you might want to add a touch more salt in the final seasoning. Next, fire in the teeny little capers, the can of tomaytoes – the chopped kind are better than plum in this dish as they mix better throughout. Add salt and pepper. This needs about 25 mins all a-simmer.

Have another sip of the drink. Mmm. Lovely.

Put a large pan on a medium heat with lots of boiling water in it. Add a pinch of salt and a drop or three of oil. When properly boiling, add in your linguine and cook without a lid til al dente. Say 12-15 mins all told. Keep a half cup of the pasta water and drain. Toss your sauce with your pasta, adding pasta water as you see fit. Table that beautiful bomb. Start chewing. And remember, 25 minutes from start to finish; this is faster – and healthier – than ordering from the local take away. Your arteries will thank you.